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JANUARY "You can add Thomond Park to Fatima, Knock and Lourdes.The lame will come here and walk, they'll be selling water here, because this defies logic."- RTÉ's George Hook after Munster beat Gloucester 33-6 in the European Cup.It's not so massive when you're 20th and you finish 19th or if you're 19th and you finish 18th or even if you finish 18th and then finish 17th.

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Reporter: "It's been said that your weakness is that you have never played at the highest level." Brian Kerr: "Well, I don't think the FAI has hired me as a player - they've hired me as a manager." "Arsenal are streets ahead of everyone in this league, and Manchester United are up there with them, obviously." - Newcastle's Craig Bellamy, obviously.

"Being a Kerry manager is probably the hardest job in the world because Kerry people, I'd say, are the roughest type of fucking animals you could ever deal with.

"You can say it's a club that's sinking but it's Leeds United - it's a liner, not a canoe." - Peter Reid, then Leeds manager. So let's have a party." - Former Special Olympics athlete Rita Lawlor at the opening ceremony of this summer's Games.

Since then the club has found itself up the creek without a paddle. "You never beat the All Blacks, you just score more points than them." - English rugby coach Clive Woodward on the New Zealand media's reaction to England's victory over the All Blacks.

"If they don't win today I will have their balls in my salad." - Maurizio Zamparini, president of Italian side Palermo.

Palermo drew 2-2 with Livorno that day, and since then they're not half the men they used to be."Saddam Hussein is more likely to reform himself than Mike Tyson." - Richard J Codey, urging the New Jersey Athletic Board not to re-license the fighter. I don't know where it is, to be honest." - Swindon's splendidly named and geographically challenged Australian midfielder, Danny Invincible.MAY "They have to remember that morality is not suspended because Celtic are in a cup final." - The Archbishop of Glasgow warning Celtic supporters to desist from "reckless sexual behaviour" while in Seville for the UEFA Cup final. Even when he farts he seems to score." - Alessandro del Piero (Juventus) on Ruud van Nistelrooy's gas talents. Well, to be honest, yeah." - England cricket captain Michael Vaughan "There's only one club in Europe that you can leave Manchester United for - Real Madrid or Barcelona." - John Aldridge.I am bitterly disappointed that politics can find no other way than lobbing bombs on my footballers." - Iraq football manager, German Bernd Stange."I despise them as much as they despise everybody else."As one door closes, another one shuts." - Howard Wilkinson, enjoying life as Sunderland manager. "With eight or 10 minutes to go, they were able to bring Nicky Butt back and give him 15 to 20 minutes." - Niall Quinn loses count. It ranks up there with 'I got it from the toilet seat'." - Dick Pound, chairman of the World Anti-Doping Agency, on Shane Warne's claim that he failed a drug test because of a tablet given to him by his mother.

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