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She laughed and said, “I like that I can decide to have a bowl of cereal for dinner if I feel like it without worrying about having to cook or eat a ‘real’ dinner.” At the end of the day, she said, she doesn’t have any preconceived notions about what kind of man she would most like to date. What is important is sharing a common religion and having someone who can keep up with her active lifestyle!She said divorced or never married doesn’t matter to her. She pointed out that one’s prior marital status is completely irrelevant to the things she deems most important. While we may have an idea of what is important to us, the reality is we that have to be flexible and open to having our preconceived notions change or we might miss out on meeting, dating, or even marrying, a really fabulous person!

” Now, I recognize that is very narrow thinking, but in honesty, that was my first reaction.

What followed was a really great discussion about the perceived pros and cons of dating (or potentially marrying) someone who had never been married before, versus someone who had gone through a divorce.

Was it “better” to have someone who understood what marriage was all about and was familiar with all of the compromises, the peaks and the valleys?

Was it “better” to have someone who may likely already have children?

I told her I would keep my ears open for someone who might be a great match for her! I’m glad my husband didn’t have blinders on when we met.

Going back to the colleague I mentioned earlier — oh the irony! If he had said he wasn’t interested in dating an older woman with two kids, we wouldn’t have just celebrated four fabulous years of marriage! Are they the really important factors, or just some preconceived notion based on stereotypes?

She wanted someone who was between 45-55 years old, and then listed a few other qualities and traits that were important to her …

then she dropped this requirement on me, “This I know for sure …

With all the shade we throw at men and women alike for having a “baby mama” or “baby daddy,” is it contradictory to wonder what is wrong with a 40 year old bachelor who has no kids or who has never jumped the broom?

Most women make the assumption that a man who has never been married or who has no children has no desire to be a husband or a father. But should we lump all 40-something year old men, with no wives or children to speak of, in the same category? While in many cases the stereotype of the 40 year old bachelor may be valid, some of us women tend to overlook other factors that may have kept him from achieving these “milestones.” The fact that relationships are work makes it plausible that he probably just hasn’t found “the one” yet by age 40.

I had a similar conversation with a new friend last weekend.

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