Online dating not working

Fix: Leave out the cliches, focus on your strengths, wear your heart on your sleeve.

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Being on the right site and having a great profile alone won’t help you if you just don’t do enough on the site. Most people there are single, quite a lot of them have probably gone through some horrible dates and endured some heartache. Then you’ve got to ask yourself whether your heart is really in it.

Not even a great photo will help if you’re only logging in every now and then to see who has viewed your profile and whether anyone has asked you out. But talking about it won’t really help you – even if people feel sorry for you, do you really want that to be the reason why they are talking to you? Being in a relationship and dating are putting people under a lot of pressure because it seems like being single cannot be synonymous with being happy.

You’re there to attract attention and make other people curious about you and sounding like a bad daytime TV salesman really won’t do the trick.

Instead of saying you’ve a good sense of humour – show it! And we won’t patronise you with talk of inner beauty mattering more than looks. Everyone understands the power of a photo on a dating site.

You can still make it work better for you, you might just need to put in more effort on your profile and email messaging.

If you find online dating not working for you then it usually comes back to your profile.Those who you are interested in and want to talk to. Fix: If you find yourself on the wrong site, you should cancel your membership as soon as possible (hopefully you didn’t sign up for a year! My top tip would be to sign up for several dating sites and just spend a week looking around – don’t subscribe to anything yet, get a feel for the place, see which site you like the best and then sign up.What to do if you DID sign up for a longer period of time and have now discovered the site isn’t for you after all?The best photos are those that are genuine, friendly, open and warm. Nobody likes clingy and needy people and nobody likes to be stalked and hounded.The best photos aren’t usually posed, at least they don’t look like it. If you find someone you like you really shouldn’t start bombing them with emails and questions – that’s not being active, that’s being annoying.Aet Suvari has been reviewing and writing about the world of online dating since 2008 and the launch of Online Dating Help.

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