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It was about bringing the families of the two parties together, building relationships, building a bigger family. Mainly because over the years I have been angered at how the noble custom of ilobolo has been turned into a get-rich-quick scam.
The parents of some girls would charge the would-be groom hundreds of thousands of rands in ilobolo, arguing that they had spent a lot of money educating their daughter. Having paid the exorbitant ilobolo fees, the hapless chap would still be expected to finance wedding proceedings.
So, what better place to find casual sex than a website created especially to connect people with the same outlook on sex and relationships.
The structure of ilobolo itself got distorted a long time ago.
I will confine myself to Zulu tradition, because I come from that background.
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Which is why I laugh at self-appointed custodians of culture when they argue that same-sex relationships are not "our culture".
Now the queers, long condemned by traditionalists as an abomination, are leading the way in putting ilobolo in its proper context: it is not about buying a person.
It is about building lifetime relationships between the two families.
My Bed or Yours is like an ever-expanding "little black book" full of hot guys and girls waiting for that late night "booty call".
Michael concentrates on all aspects of industrial relations and employment law litigation.
He spent a year practicing employment law with a prominent London-based international law firm, where he was involved in the employment aspects of a number of multi-jurisdictional transactions and claims to the Employment Tribunal.
But what has been remarkable about the recent spate of same-sex marriages is that black South African queers have deliberately committed themselves to what might be considered the backward - in the world of queers at least - custom of ilobolo.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating