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"the dark continent," and if that's true, then male sexuality might as well be the dark planet.

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So taboo is this desire for intimacy that its possibility can terrify men; not because it's smothering, but because they realize how desperate they are for it. First, understand that your guy's hasty retreat post-sex may be because he doesn't understand how much he craves a connection with you.

Then, it's time for another kitchen table sex talk, Mintz says.

That's when your partner can talk about what pressures he's feeling, or what he's self-conscious about. "In a really good, connected, long-term partnership, there's not a magic word that will work wonders; it's more about getting to know what it is your partner is worried about, and addressing that outside of the bedroom, when he's not already anxious about whatever the issue at hand is." Once you're in the bedroom (and aware of his insecurities), remind him of how much you enjoy being intimate.

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